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1.22.2012

Random Rants, and My Boiling Blood Pressure.

Yesterday, my BP rose to a whopping 130/100 - a reading that's way beyond the borderline high blood pressure range. I was so nauseous that things around me were either tilting or spinning before my eyes. I almost fell over while making my way to the bed, where I stayed for the rest of the night. Maimed because of my dizziness, I couldn't even stand to cook food so my brother took Yue home with him (he lives next door) to eat dinner.

And speaking of the little man, I give him credit for having the capacity to really make my blood boil. While I was busy cleaning up the mess he made in our living room, Yue sneaked out of the back door and ran outside the house. Good thing my sister-in-law chanced upon him while he was making a dash towards the exit. Sis-in-law followed after Yue, who was already outside the gate when she caught up with him. One thing you must know, we live along the national highway so imagine what could have happened had Yue attempted to run - let alone walk - outside.

A wave of emotions - fear, anger, frustration, disappointment - swept me after this incident, and not being able to contain them, I gave Yue a really hard slap on his bottom and spent the next thirty minutes berating him. This drove him to tears, and while it pains me seeing his grief-stricken face, I can not bring myself to sweep him in a comforting hug.

An example of Yue's drama actor face.

Yue and I are going through episodes of power struggle these days, and he uses his wailing and screaming and my grandmother who spoils him rotten as a way to win over me. Lately, he hardly listens to what I'm saying; he will only do so after I raise my voice or raise my hand as if I were going to hit him. While I may have managed to control my temper after being a mom, my rambunctious toddler now has a way of pushing my buttons and driving me to the edge of my sanity. Moments like these make me wonder if I was this uncontrollably exuberant when I was a child (my Mum tells me I was a spoiled brat, too). Or if Yue would be a lot more behaved if his Daddy were here to do the disciplining.

My only consolation is that the little devil knows how to apologize. After a good half hour of crying and sensing that his drama is not working on me, he coyly took my hand and said, "Mommy, sorry na po. Hindi na ako uulit." (Mommy, I'm sorry. I won't do it again.) I took a deep breath, and said, "Okay. Stop crying," and gave him a hug. But at the back of my mind I was wondering how long will his promise hold.

   

20 replies:

Czjai said...

Thanks Krystimarie! :)
Now following your blog, too.

MM said...

Oh glad that you have blogger now. :) Will link you up too. Oh gosh I admire you for handling this responsibility by yourself. Someday your kid would thank you for that. :)

Czjai said...

Is!!!

After 48 years diba, nag-Blogger din ako. Haha! Honga, kung hindi ako mag-aayos malamang loss na loss na ang byuti ko from all the stress and pagod. Kalowka!

ReviewsSheRote said...

He will be glad you taught him well...its amazing what our kids put our bodies through. Sweet of him to be so sorry- Although I'm sure tomorrow will bring along another great adventure ;}

ReviewsSheRote said...

He will be glad you taught him well...its amazing what our kids put our bodies through. Sweet of him to be so sorry- Although I'm sure tomorrow will bring along another great adventure ;}

Desarei said...

Following from 99% Exposure Blog Hop =)

Desarei
www.insideaninsanemind.com

Val @ Mental Chew said...

Kids are tough. Just keep taking those deep cleansing breaths. He will do it again, but each time it will sink in a little more. They thrive on consistency. Hang in there mama!

Pepper said...

My heart melts whenever my daughter says sorry too after making me lose my temper. I love Yue's drama actor face :)

Anne @ Green Eggs and Moms said...

Gosh, I've gotten so used to my kiddo crying that no matter how cute he looks I'm just numb- unless of course he sustained an injury. But that kind of crying isn't cute at all!

Glad to hear nothing bad happened to him and do try to eat bananas, they lower blood pressure. Stay healthy mama!

Anne @ Green Eggs and Moms said...

Gosh, I've gotten so used to my kiddo crying that no matter how cute he looks I'm just numb- unless of course he sustained an injury. But that kind of crying isn't cute at all!

Glad to hear nothing bad happened to him and do try to eat bananas, they lower blood pressure. Stay healthy mama!

Life by Cynthia said...

I am a new mom to a toddler and not quite there yet with our son, but I hope that he too will learn to be apologetic after being naughty...

Hang in there mama. Be careful with your bp :)

Czjai said...

Thanks Pamela! :)

Czjai said...

Thanks Desarei!

Now following your blog. :)

Czjai said...

Thanks for the encouraging words, Val! I do appreciate it. :)

Czjai said...

Thanks Pepper! :)

Czjai said...

Thanks for the tip, Anne! And I will stock up on bananas. :)

Czjai said...

Thanks for the encouragement, Cynthia! And I do appreciate the visit. :)

Aileen said...

I didn't have to be mom to understand what you're going through...I have 3 nephews, the youngest now is 3. They can be quite a handful. It gets even harder when they become teenagers...so training them up early on will be a big help.

Alison said...

Parenting can be so challenging at times! Sometimes when they are young, it seems like nothing gets there attention, and I remember feeling just as frustrated as you are. The important thing is to remain consistent and level headed if you can. Best of luck!

Czjai said...

Thanks Aileen and Alison!

Your encouraging words are a great help. I do appreciate it. :)