How to Cope with Losing Someone You Love.

Losing someone you love is an event that most of us will likely encounter and experience once or thrice our lifetime. Life is finite and the time we have with our loved ones is something that we have no control over.  So for most of us, when we lose someone (or even something) who we care deeply about is very painful and it takes us a lot longer to recuperate from the emotions swirling in our hearts and minds.

For emotionally strong people, they may be able to cope in a few months time but even so it is still a difficult experience to endure alone. Having a person to help you with coping from this ordeal is also very helpful because aside from the difficult emotions and sadness that we are experiencing, the loss of a loved one also brings forth legal matters that needs to be taken care of, just like in cases where there’s a last will and testament involved. In this kind of situation, someone should be able to give you the right advice and best choice on how to move forward, and one that you can consider is a probate lawyer. Probate lawyers are easy to find, there are Sydney probate, in Melbourne, Brisbane and even in other cities like New York and London that will be able to help you with that.

Photo credit: Expert Beacon.

Though, everyone handles themselves differently, but there comes a point wherein you also have to heal yourself. Here are some things you need to understand when you are trying to deal with the loss of a loved one.

1. In some cases, there are people who will deny themselves a chance to just let go of their emotion. All the pent up sadness, frustration or even anger is toxic when it builds up inside of you. There are times even when you cannot even comprehend what you are feeling because one emotion comes after another. But you need to accept this because it’s okay. This is only normal. You need to allow these feelings because it can be quite harmful for your emotional well-being if you keep on trying to control all of them at once.

2. A support system is beneficial because these people, either a relative or a close friend, can give you the emotional support and stability you need in overcoming this event in your life. You will need them even when you say otherwise and wish to be left alone.

3. As mentioned before, you will be barraged with emotions and you may be wondering why you are taking longer than others to recover. But don’t worry yourself over much of it, because the grieving process is something that we do individually. It’s a personal route that we each do differently and it all depends on our behaviour, our personality, and our coping mechanism.

4. Healing is a gradual thing. Healing from the loss of a loved one cannot be hurried or even forced by anyone, yourself included. It’s going to take time, but that’s only natural. No major wound ever heals quickly in over a day. Whatever your process of healing is, it is important to remind yourself to be patient because there is no normal timetable for recovering from losing someone you love.

Moving on can be extremely difficult but no matter what happens from here on, be good and kind to yourself and to those people who support you, and always try to be stronger each day.

Remembering Those Who Have Passed Away.

After a loved one is cremated, you probably think of the ashes being placed in a container or an urn so that they can be kept on a mantle or in an area where the person can be remembered. Some people will bury the ashes once another family member passes away, or scatter the ashes at a favorite location.

Another option is a keepsake bracelet. A small amount of the ashes are placed in a bracelet so that you can wear it all the time. This is a way that is comforting for some who want to keep their loved one as close as possible. It's also a way for children to keep a family member, such as a grandparent, close to them after a death. A bracelet is often a gentle reminder that the person is still there instead of looking at an urn on a mantle in the home.

Heartlink bracelet.

There are various designs that you can get with the bracelet depending on how detailed you want it to look. Most bracelets are made of sterling silver. This gives the piece a delicate look and a reverence that you might think of after someone passes away. Details like crystals or pearls can be added to the bracelet. As light hits the bracelet, it can cause a sparkle that will make it look like an angel is shining from Heaven, which can be a way for you to remember your loved one. Most bracelets have a charm on them, many that are in the shape of a heart. The ashes are placed inside this charm so that they are secure. There are some bracelets that have tiny areas on the links where the ashes are placed.

If you don't want a bracelet, then consider getting a ring with a stone where the ashes are placed. You can add a birthstone of the person who passed or stones of your own family. There are also necklaces with crosses and other charms. Some of the pendants include teardrops, a small urn or a heart. These are keepsakes that give a reassuring feeling that your loved one hasn't left your side.

Think of Loved Ones Now Before it's Too Late.

None of us wants to think about our life ending. However, since death is inevitable it is important for you to get your affairs in order while you are alive and well so that when you do die, your loved ones will still be cared for. There are several things you can do to make the loss of your life slightly easier on those who love you.

Life Insurance
The first thing that comes to most people's minds should be life insurance. In the event of your death, your life insurance will give your loved ones the money they need to take care of your final expenses. Funerals, as well as coffins or cremation can be very expensive. You do not want your loved ones to have to put aside their grief long enough to determine how to pay for your funeral. Therefore, applying for an obtaining life insurance is something that must be done as early in life as possible.

Photo credit: The Insurance People

Will and Last Testament
Be sure to have a will draw up stating who gets your belongings, your money and your estate when you pass away. Most people choose to go to a lawyer to obtain their will, but if you are strapped for cash you can also use a do it yourself (DIY) will. You will have to obtain a will kit and fill it out, stating all of your final wishes. Once you have filled it out it needs to be signed by yourself and a few witnesses. To determine the exact procedure for this, you will need to find out what the laws are in your state regarding a legal will. Experts advise you to have an estate lawyer help you review your will before making it official.

Pre-Planning
A Funeral One of the biggest burdens your family may feel after your death is the planning of your funeral. Save them the pain of having to do this by planning it yourself. Many people now plan their own funeral and even pick out their own coffin to spare his or her loved ones from having to do it once they are gone. To do this, some people turn to funeral insurance. If you choose to do this, you can probably save your family a great deal of money. Funeral expenses are constantly going up and you have no real way of determining how much your family would have to pay for your funeral. The typical funeral costs between $8,000 and $10,000, which your loved ones may not be able to come up with. Having funeral insurance to cover the expenses can be a huge relief to your loved ones.

Preparing for your own death is never easy or fun, but it will give you the peace of mind of knowing that your family is taken care of financially when the inevitable happens. Do what you can to ease their pain before they have to experience it. You will be able to die peacefully.

For Stalin | A Candle in the Wind.

When I first met him in 2006, it was love at first sight.

It was the same until his last breath. 

Stalin would've turned six today if he's still with us. And I would've thrown a simple party with cake and ice cream just like we used to do. But today I'm lighting a candle on his grave instead.

Happy Birthday, Stalin! 

We miss you so, so, much! 

But we love you much, much more!

Stalin | Thanks for the Memories.

Don't despair too much if you see beautiful things destroyed, if you see them perish. Because the best things are always growing in secret. - Ben Okri

I'm still grieving, still writhing in pain. Although my sadness is not a fleeting moment, I am trying to cope up and move on. I am getting the strength from those five years of happy memories.

To my friends, fellow bloggers, and blog followers, thank you for seeing me through these trying times. Your words of support and encouragement are truly appreciated. Please bear with me as I try to get my groove back.

Sharing with This or That Thursday, i Heart Macro, Weekend Flowers, Color Connection and 366.